my first love was j.

PUBLISHED 18 March 2009 23:56

I remember the first day we met. It was at a camp for a few days. We didn’t talk much but I already looked up to him as a leader.

Time went on and we saw each other every day in high school. He had a thing for a friend of mine and wanted me to help get them together. This is what brought us together. We started hanging out and talking all the time.

We went on a trip with our school where we experienced our first kiss. I remember the day because it was 11/11. We were in the Windy City. Then he blew me off and I was so confused. How could my first kiss not like me?

More time went on. A love triangle grew and it became very complicated. I never stopped liking him though. How hard it was to see him liking one of my best friends.

But then, he chose me.

We dated for over a year and a half. It was amazing. We had ups and downs, but then doesn’t every couple? We learned what love was together. Experienced things we never had before. We had our first real journey in life together.

Then, like a fool, I broke up with him. My mom had just died. And when I thought our relationship and my family problems were too hard to deal with all at once, it was then that I needed him the most. We still talked all the time and he still wanted to be with me. I didn’t see it the same way.

He went to college as I was still a senior in high school. We had sort of a “half” relationship. We were best friends. I cant think of a day when I didn’t talk to him.

Then she came along. He started to like her and I started fighting for him to like me again.

They say “you want what you can’t have.” That was me.

We barely talk anymore and yet we now go to the same college…where we would be together if I hadn’t broken up with him.

A small part of me always wishes he will someday see the mistake we made. And come back to me.